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Fear is the most destructive element to any undertaking. In most cases, fear can’t be identified by the fearful person. It is not specific, but more of a feeling of emptiness of not knowing where to go or what to do. Fear is having the lack of proper knowledge to make life decisions. Since we are peope of choice, and we live every day, life brings us daily challenges that we choose how to deal with. Self-awareness provides us with the proper knowledge to make informed decisions, leaving us feeling confident rather than scared, secure rather than insecure and lost.
Fear makes us dependant on other people to take care of us, which usually doesn’t work…
When you are accountable for your actions and self-aware you know who you are, what you have to offer, and where you want to go from here…and you have, in the process, eliminated fear from your life. You have replaced fear with adventure, hope, and trust 
Everyone has a future – choose to plan yours.
Set your goals taking into account your values, attitudes and habits, working with your strenghts to raise the likelihood of you achieving what you set out to achieve. Work with an Emotional Intelligence goal-setting model, engaging your emotional brain as well as your thinking brain.
* Values: understand what is really important about the goal, what will be great about achieving it in the grand scheme of things.
* Attitudes: check that your positive attitudes and beliefs will support and be supported by your values.
* Awareness: be aware of your intentions with the goal you set. Your intention is strongly linked to your values – by knowing what’s important about your goal, why you are working towards it, you can use your strenghts, personal power and flexibility to keep on track.
* Do: consider what behaviour helps you achieve the goal. Positive behaviours will strenghten your positive attitudes and fulfil your personal values.
* Done: give your goal a deadline! It improves the chances of success to know when you’ll be in the new situation.
Goals are vehicles for living your values…Sounds complicated? Maybe so, but when you think about it – isn’t the best day, “Your ideal day”, filled with activities that results in an experience of positive emotions and highs? Yes, of course you say – that’s obvious…but I don’t know what my values are…That’s why we, together, will work on what’s important to you and by doing so we will start finding out what your values are – the Values Staircase asks the question WIATY (What’s Important About…To You) starting with What is important about success to you?
Find out more- visit my web site and contact me for a free consultation!
I’ve been away for a while…distracted from MY goals, my values compromised and rather than action, inactivity…That’s what happens when you steer away from your goals, your values.
If our values represent our highest priorities, doesn’t it make absolute sense that our goals and dreams are rooted in our values? Yet how often do we pursue things, jobs, careers, relationships, even possessions, and when we achieve what we think we desired, we feel let down, somehow dissatisfied and disappointed?
Our values are our internal blueprint for sucesss. They make us who we are and they are intrinsically linked with our attitudes and selfregard. 22 percent of people who join a gym in January have thrown in the towel after 24 weeks. A further 20 percent will disappear before December. Why? Because we are either doing it for the wrong reason, or we don’t know why we’re doing it.
If your goals don’t reflect your values, it will be hard work to stick to them. So make sure you know you HAVE values (because all of us do) and make sure you know WHAT they are! Then set your goals based on your values and action will follow. You will stay focused and motivated, reaching your goals because you ACT – we always do when your goals are aligned with your values:). Need help identifying your values? Visit my web site for more about my 5-step values based coaching process.
Values are like a compass for your life which helps you recognize who you really are. That’s what having and knowing your values is like. Values are your personal motivators, they’re what make you tick and the greatest tragedy is that most people go through life not even knowing they’ve got values, let alone what they are!
They are your own internal compass and when you pay attention to them, they give you direction in life. Values are not attitudes or beliefs, though they do live in the same brain (the emotional brain/limbic system).
Attitudes are things that are linked to our emotions and behaviors. It’s the way a person views something or tends to behave towards it, often in an evaluative way. It’s the glasses we wear and through which we choose to see the world and people around us.
Beliefs on the other hand is an idea, a principle accepted as true, especially without proof. If your attitudes are the glasses you wear and through which you choose to view the world and people around you, your beliefs are your truth or your story of the world and people around you. For example do you believe the world is flat or round, do you believe in Santa Claus? The key with beliefs is that they are not necessarily correct. Think about what your beliefs are doing for you? Are they supporting you to achieve your goals or holding you back..?
An attitude is something more than a belief, as it is an emotional expression.
Beliefs can form attitudes and attitudes can form beliefs.
Ultimately, attitudes and beliefs can help or hinder us and affect how we behave and how much of our potential we use. All attitudes can be rewired to form new, healthier attitudes if we choose to do this. The key is to get underneath the ones that undermine us (by first raising conscious awareness of them), weed them out and replace them with healthy supportive beliefs and attitudes
So, values, attitudes and beliefs have a powerful connection with our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and how we perform.
Consider a tree with values representing the roots of who we are, the beliefs being the trunk, attitudes being the main branches with the leaves being our behaviors and actions.
Values are an intrinsic part of who we are, and our core values are far less changeable than our beliefs and attitudes.
Make sure you know your internal compass (values) on your road to success in life! By identifying your core values, the glasses you wear and choose to look at the world through (attitudes) and the truth you see (beliefs) you are able to work on your behaviors and actions! Get your free consultation today! Find out more about yourself and your strengths, using your internal compass on your Road Map to Success. But don’t take my word for it – check out what others have to say!
“The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” – Hugh White
Today I’m blogging from New York City and what better back drop than this to remind ourselves that it’s not what happened in the past that should guide us. This is a place that thrives on what’s going on right now and what is yet to come – the possibilities of tomorrow. Viktor Hugo once said “He, who every morning plans the transactions of the day, and follows the plan carries a thread that will guide him through a labyrinth of the most busy life”
Everyone has a future – choose to plan yours. Think about th following when you start the day today and every day:
“If you could do anything now, with the life you have in front of you, what would it be?”
“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Don Swartz
So, I’m back after a couple of days off. Not on vacation. Just of track. And off-line.Yes, it happen to all of us. And what happens when you do? You hang on to what’s really important to you. You use your attitude, values and interests to find your way back. To find your way back to the path you’ve decided to walk on. A helping hand is always welcome – someone who is willing to listen, someone who cares, someone who can point out the reasons why you want to walk the path you’ve chosen and not stay off track for any long period of time.
Yes, coaches needs coaches – after all we are human like you (surprise!). Why is caring so important…Why should I care about others…It’s simple – when you care about others it shows that you are able to be. And when you care about being, such as being with other human beings, you show compassion and by showing compassion you are able to love. The simple truth is that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, that you need to show compassion and care about yourself before caring for others. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Can you honestly say you love, care and feel compassion for the person you see in the mirror. If you do (and you should!) then you have the gift of caring for others as well. Sharing the love, compassion and care that we all need and that we from time to time feel left out of. That’s when a friend, coach, loved one is there to support, and remind you about what made you walk on the path you chosen in the first place, and to reach out that helping hand that cares about your well-being and that cares about you finding your way back on your Roadmap to Success
“Kindness is never wasted. If it has no effect on the recipient, at least it benefits the bestower.” – S.H. Simmons
Previously I blogged about EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and its critical impact on your success in life (personal and professional). A couple of days ago I wrote a blog about Act or React and the importance of being aware of the mechanism of reaction – stopping the automatic reaction when our buttons are pushed…
Today I’m giving you a chance to “test yourself”
By becoming aware of how you think and help you understand what conditions positively and negatively affect your thoughts, you will be able to listen to your personal advisors and make better decisions. The STEP Model provides an opportunity to select words and phrases that describe how you communicate in different situations and help you to…
–> Understand what motivates you in different situations
–> Use words to describe how you are in those situations
–> Use your self-awareness to hear your personal advisors and make better choices
Select a situation as the focus for your self-assessment. For example, a work situation might be handling customers on the phone or leading a team or teaching a skill. A home situation might be dealing with your teenager about using your vehicle (or if you are the teenager – dealing with your parent about staying out late on a Saturday night )
Select and circle a total of five words or phrases from all columns that best describe the way you communicate in that siuation. Any combination is possilbe including the seclection of all five words in one column.
S
Stable, Cooperative, Specialist, Laid Back, Feeling secure
T
Thorough, Questioning, Perfectionist, Unemotional, Doing things right
E
Emotional, Outgoing, People oriented, Talkative, Being liked
P
Pusher, Assertive, Controlling, Quick, Getting results
Total the number of items (phrases or words) you circled in each of the four columns (S-T-E-P).
The column with the highest point total (or if tied with another column) represents your communication style in that specific situation your chose. Stable – Thorough – Emotional – or – Pusher. Then contact me by email or phone (see Contact information page) with your result and I will, free of charge, give you information that shows the relationship between each STEP style and emotionally intelligent thinking and examples/describers how you think, feel, and comunicate in situations that are motivating and positive, situations that tend to be most satisfying and stimulating to you, situations that tend to be irritating and annoying and cause you to disconnect from all your advisors, especially the logical advisor and finally, give you the warning signals that describe your emotions and thoughts when you are reacting automatically.
Go ahead – do the self-assessment – and get in touch with me. It’s FREE, it’s fun and it’s an eye-opening exercise! Get to know yourself a little better and be more effective in every day situations!
Growing up we learn all the “shoulds”, “musts”, and “cannots”. Did you know that during our first 18 years of our lives, we were told “No” or what we could notdo, more than 148,000 times! And only a couple of thousand times what you can do or what you can accomplish in life.
Leding behavioral researches have told us that as much as 75% of everything we think is negative, counterproductive, and works against us. At the same time, medical researches have said that as much as 75% of all illnesses are self-induced…
So how do we “re-program” the way we think? One way is “Self-Talk” and knowing what to say when you talk to yourself. Choose your thoughts. Use your talents, skills and abilities and discover new talents all the time. Take time to listen and communicate. Be patient and understanding. Focus your attention on the things you can control – accept the things you can’t. What you believe about yourself is what you will become – so believe in the best for yourself.
Work on the above positive “self-talk” and give yourself the kind, loving, determined support you would give to your best friend. Harness the power of the ultimate motivator – YOU!
Get the support and help you need to get started on the right track – go to my website for more information.
Ask your teenagers (and if you are the teenager reading this, ask yourself) before going to a party, an event or when “hanging out” – “There may be people drinking. Have you thought about how you’re going to handle that?” Then really listen to their answers…
There’s nothing better, EVER, than talking about ANY issues with your teenager. It’s a choice we as parents would have to make AND it then becomes our kids’ choice, once they know the facts, risks, and implications, how to become responsible drinkers or how to completely stay away from alcohol and other drugs. In today’s WSJ there was an interesting article that I recommend you discuss with your teenage kids at the dinner table tonight.
Goal setting is one of the most important key concepts in life and in life coaching. Beliefs about what you can and cannot achieve are formed early and before you reach your teens, most of you have settled on certain goals and given up on others. It doesn’t have to be like that. It’s important to break down your ambitions and dreams into achievable “step-by-step” goals and align your behavior with your goals. If you set yourself up for success you will succeed – if you set yourself up for failure by letting yourself down, feeling a hopelessness and give up rather than revisiting and resetting your goals, you will fail. Build a hopeful attitude, use the concept of “Smart” goal setting, and make sure you back up your goal setting by setting you up for success – attend school, say no to drugs, get in shape physically and have a positive frame of mind by breaking down your goals in smaller steps, write down the skills you’ll have to learn, name strategies and resources you need to use such as more homework time and track your progress. That’s what setting you up for success is about. Same strategy for teens as for adults, same strategy in your career, personal development, well being and relationship. Read this article in WSJ for more and visit my web site for more information what you can do today to get the help you need to set your goals!
