Så sant. Så svårt att acceptera. Så lätt att ta till sig. Gör det idag. Inte imorgon. Imorgon kan vara för sent.
Be Mindful – be in the moment.

Screw "Business As Usual"

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Kommer du ihåg dina sommarlov som barn? Ingen skola, ingen torr skolmat, inga läxor! Vi må ha varit små men vi var fria individer som hoppade och skrattade utan krav.

I arbetslivet har vi inte skapat oss samma tillvaro. Inte konstigt att vuxenlivet emellanåt känns som en bestraffning. Och när vi dessutom väljer att sudda linjen mellan arbetsliv och fritid genom att ständigt vara tillgängliga och uppkopplade, bör vi vara medvetna om riskerna. När dessa beteenden börjar sprida sig till semestern är vi ute på hal is. Och alla vet vi vad som händer med is under sommaren: DEN SMÄLTER! Tyvärr är det många av oss som inte kan släppa jobbet under semestern. Du “ska bara” kolla mailen, ringa ett samtal, kontera en faktura, ha tjänstetelefonen med dig eller kolla FB & LinkedIN”.

Låter mest som en dålig version av ett Alfons-Åberg ledarskap “Jag ska bara”.

Att ständigt vara uppkopplad…

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The Iceberg that sinks organizational change.

 

 The iceberg that sinks organizational change

The troubles of ineffective project leadership. A visual description how to recognize it and the disastrous effects it can have.

The Troubles of Ineffective Project Management [Infographic]

In today’s world we live a life in where we embrace change as not only something positive but more importantly a necessity of survival.

And where the future belongs to those who are able to take better advantage of social tools, extending their capabilities in ways that violate old models not because they know more useful things than we, the older generation do, but because they know fewer useless things than we do.

Our social tools are dramatically improving our ability to share, cooperate, and act together.

The power of organizing without organizations.

The power of getting things done by collaborating collectively without a hierarchical flow of decision makings. Malcom Gladwell in “What the Dog Saw” said; “If everyone had to think outside the box, maybe it was the box that needed fixing.” Seen in that light, social tools don’t create collective action – they merely remove the obstacles to it. Those obstacles have been so significant and pervasive, however, that as they are being removed, the world is becoming a different place.

Many of the changes we see are not based on the fanciest, newest bits of technology but on simple, easy-to-use tools like smartphones, apps, blogs and websites, because those are tools most people have access to and, critically, are comfortable using in their daily lives. Revolution doesn’t happen when society adopts new technologies – it happens when society adopts new behaviors.

So as more people adopt simple social tools, and as those tools allow increasingly rapid communication, the speed of group action also increases, and just as more is different, faster is different.

Holacracy  is a new way of running an organization. It removes power from a traditional management hierarchy and distributes it across clear roles without a micromanaging boss. The work is actually more structured than in a conventional company, just differently so. With Holacracy there is a clear set of rules and processes for how a team breaks up its work, and defines its roles with clear responsibilities and expectations.

It’s possible because of the rapid communication, the speed of which the group can act, taking advantage of social tools, adapting new behaviors faster than can be done in a traditional hierarchical environment and way of working.

The power of organizing without organizations are here to stay.

Here comes everybody, interconnected with social tools most people have access to, and not only to a few selected with their names in square boxes, interconnected with lines on a piece of paper.

 

I feed off inspiration ALL the time. Everything I do is born out of inspiration. Is that bad?

It’s probably the reason why I am not always MOTIVATED… Inspiration is defined as the process of being mentally stimulated to do something, especially something creative. BUT it’s an EXTERNAL force…MOTIVATION is an INTERNAL drive…

SO I need to learn to ACT on everyday inspiration – MOTIVATION does that. It comes from within and propels me to ACT on the inspiration I can find anywhere – IF I choose and am willing to look for it…

I need to let the inspiration turn into motivation to act and allow it to be the accelerant to produce more of my “monster” ideas and plots when I write my stories; or when I help others excel and become more thoughtful, mindful and solution-focused; as a way of living, behaving, and working with others.

And YOU can do the same! Choose to let your inspiration feed your motivation to ACT!

Trust…if not there you walk through life like if you were constantly walking on thin ice…afraid of the ice breaking under the weight of your doubts, suspicion, and fear of losing what you have…because having someone/something is better than having no one or nothing…even if they/it are not good for us. Trusting yourself is knowing yourself and when you know yourself you are able to let go of someone or something without fear, without feeling lost…

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

We push people away because we are afraid of letting them in and being hurt when they leave.

We grasp on to people that are not good for us because we are afraid of being alone and someone is better than no one.

Pushing and pulling are fear, not love.

Love is holding.

Loosely enough so that each person has the freedom to grow and change.

And firmly enough so that each person knows they are supported.

It is trusting the other person enough that they want to stay even if they have the ability to leave.

And trusting yourself that you will be okay if they do.

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I’m working on a piece about how the emotion of loneliness (usually associated with a negative feeling, anti-social and “isolated” feeling) and solitude (more often associated with a more “exploratory”, mindful feeling of “freedom”), and how these feelings relates to, and defines, your behavior. Found your blog post of great interest and value for not only dating after divorce but for the struggle people who don’t feel they are good enough or wanted, go through.

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

I received a message the other day from a woman who was recently divorced after fifteen years of marriage. But that’s not why she was reaching out. She was instead asking for help dealing with the utter devastation she was feeling at the end of a six month relationship.

She seemed surprised at the depth of her response.

I wasn’t.

Dating after divorce is often a journey through murky waters. Every encounter and action can have multiple layers, as we work through the end of one marriage, heal ourselves and learn to be in a new relationship. Those events take time and often result in certain stumbling blocks in dating after divorce.

Beginning Deja-Vu

If you were in a long marriage and you were faithful, it has probably been a long time since you have experienced the particular thrill that can electrify the early stages of infatuation. In fact, the last…

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The word coaching is indeed widely used – from management support services, to a wellness coach in our fitness club. For clarity, let me explain what I mean by coaching.

For a moment, think about the arts and crafts of frame making…framing a picture in such a way that it can unfold its full expressivity is an art that few people have mastered. Rembrandt was quoted as saying that during his whole career it was more difficult for him to find an appropriate frame than to paint the picture!

Now, think about coaching as framing a piece of art…As a coach we create a frame (of thought) for the individual or team in which his or her goals, solutions, and first steps can shine. The frame constructed by the coach consists of goal-oriented questions, reinforcing feedback. present listening, and useful summary.

It is the task of coaching to ensure that the individual or team receive the appropriate frame. But just like the frame maker, the coach would never start actively creating the picture.

Next time I’ll tie it all together in my Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching model.

Until then ThinkLARS – Think Life stress relieving Awareness and Resources for your Success 

A helping hand...coaching

A helping hand…coaching

Being Focused on the Solution of a situation rather than the cause – the problem – is the driving force behind SF coaching.

The idea being that it’s more useful to focus attention on building solutions for problems than on analyzing causes of problems, trusting that any person is competent to solve his or her own problems, but may need help finding solutions that fit his or her unique circumstances; individualized solutions that are really owned by the coachee/performer/team. 

  • Problem talk is negative, solution talk is positive and future focused.
  • The future is both created and negotiable. People are not locked into a set of behaviors based on history and problems of the past.
  • If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. If it works, do more of it.
  • The solution is not necessarily related to the problem. Talking about and acting upon what will be different is the focus, not uncovering why the problem occurred.
  • No problem happens all the time; there are always exceptions that can be utilized. These exceptions can be used to create the solution.
  • Small steps can lead to big changes. Being solution focused means using a series of small manageable steps to build the path to a Solution.
  • Again, problem talk is negative, solution talk is positive and future focused.

Next time I’ll talk about what Coaching is…and tie it all together in my Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching model.

Until then ThinkLARS – Think Life stress relieving Awareness and Resources for your Success!

 

...being positive and future focused

Being Solution Focused…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mindfulness is awareness of, and an alert observing of your thoughts, emotions, body sensations, desires, memories, images, personality dynamics, attitudes, motivation, behavior, etc.

When you are mindful of something, you are observing it, not caught up in it and not identified with it. With people, you become more settled into being fully there with them, more peacefully relaxed in awareness of them and you and what’s happening, less identified with pleasant or unpleasant reactions that arise, less caught up in the past or future or sense of needing to make something happen. We can feel it immediately when someone else is mindfully present with us; similarly, others can feel it when you are that way yourself.

Hmm...being in the presence

Hmm…being in the presence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my next post I’ll answer what it means to be Solution-Focused.

For now, ThinkLARS – Think Life stress relieving Awareness and Resources for your Success!

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Team-Building/Cross-Cultural Trainer

Team-Building/Cross-Cultural Trainer

Lars Bolin, Team-Building/Cross-Cultural Trainer & Project Management Lite Consultant

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