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Reacting means to act again, re-act. Reacting is based on what we already know and we do it automatically which is in an emergency is very useful but in a relationship the same automatic reaction may not be in our best interest. If we can be aware of the “mechanism of reaction”, when our buttons are being pushed, and stop the automatic reaction we could be much more evenly balanced, avoid problems and experience a much higher degree of happiness.
An example in a relationship is when we react to the present situation which is SIMILAR to the past ones. For example having had an abusive father, now you think ALL men are abusive. Another example would be if your parents always told you what to do and now you get angry and resistant to ANYONE even asking you to do something. In these situations you often tend to blame others for “making you feel that way” or “making you do certain things”. Being responsible for your actions means that you are able to respond, thus response-able. That’s the alternative. Responsiblity is a matter of free choice; it is an exercise in free will. Responding is not subject to your feelings but it is rather an intentional choice in accordance with your values, ethics, and morals.

So, taking responsibility for anything and everything that happens to you in your life, no matter how unreasonable it may be, will make you more content, powerful, successful and ultimately happier than merely reacting to what happens to you. Take charge – Be responsible.

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Lars – Transition & Retirement Coach

Certified Retirement Coach


March 2011
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