Life Transitions – as seen from a “LifeStorian” point of view.

What’s a “LifeStorian” you may ask?

Let me first point out that we all, throughout Life, go through many transitions. Actually, Life is in the transitions. That’s where it all happens – in the transition itself we experience the ups and downs of life. We learn. We change. We move on. We LIVE. The key is to MANAGE life transitions. And that’s a skill. Specifically, they’re a skill we can, and must, master.

Bruce Feiler, the Author of “Life is in the transitions – mastering change at any age” – identified seven tools for navigating life transitions:

1. Accept it: identify your emotions
2. Mark it: ritualize the change
3. Shed it: give up the old mind-sets
4. Create it: try new things
5. Share it: seek wisdom from other

Once we know how to use those tools we’ll have a tool box from where we can get help when needed, and with the help of the tools, manage our life transitions.

So, what’s a LifeStorian? It’s a Storyteller of Life. It’s a way to, by using the frame work of “The Life Story Interview”, learn how you think about your life and how you turn the ups and downs of your life into who you are as a person – what’s important to you, how you got that way, who you are now. And how the different transitions of your life are connected and might have influenced each other.

The Story of your Life – in 15 minutes…

Transition Coaching (www.CoachLars.com) – Get Read for Change, to live by design, not by chance…is an example of how, by knowing and using the tools mentioned above, you can master the transitions you are facing.

My 5 step transition signature program “Get Ready 4 Change” is about making a choice to Live by Design…not by chance. To Plan and Prepare for the changes and transitions facing you, in order to Prevent surprises down the road (the three P’s in my signature program).

I also plan to, by using the techinque of a LifeStorian, write a book – “Daily Bits of Change” (www.DailyBitsOfChange.com) with the hope it will inspire, and help you, understand that Life is in the transitions.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

Sale away from the safe harbor. Fear not. Embrace the unknown. LIVE.

www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6523382380676337664

Employee wellness services in 2019

Employees demand Wellness Services as one of the Employee Benefits in 2019. Read about the Third Economic Issue in the article. Then go to http://www.CoachLars.com for more about how I can help you, and your employees, Live & Retire by Design…not by chance.

www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6485833299053858816

 

What is Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching?

Imagine your encounter a problem.

Imagine you are equipped with a flashlight.

Awareness (mindfulness) is a bit like the flashlight. Whatever you direct the beam towards becomes visible in the dark. Oftentime you direct its beam toward the problem you encounter – and all the rest is in darkness.

What’s important is to widen the beam of your flashlight. By doing so, coaching may shed light on new and useful areas of you, facets and details become visible that previously had been in the dark. The focus of your awareness (mindfulness) widens. You are able to perceive other parts of your reality, re-describe how you in the past dealt with a similar situation and thus generate more options.

You have become more Mindful about your actions, observing without being caught up in it, and by not identifying with your actions you have set the stage for re-describing your problem, and focusing in on a solution – you have become aware of your expanded choices, you are now Focused on a Solution.

One very central effect of Coaching, and the Transition Coaching I do, consists of your increased self-confidence in your own ability, and trust, to master a difficult situation. Confidence is a prerequisite for taking small steps for change. The coaching creates a framework in which you, my client, become aware of your competencies and resources and are able to access them – you become aware of the competencies you previously used to master situations that were as difficult as the one at hand, re-describe, re-discover, and if you trust in yourself, you will be able to try something new and different to reach your goals (and a solution to your problem).

This is what Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching is, and that’s my approach in my Transition Coaching service I offer.

Get Ready 4 Change. Have the Life you want! Get the support you need.

Visit CoachLars.com for more.

LetsFightCancer.org

My Friends!

Yes, my blog is about to Live by Design. Have the life you want. Get the help you need @www.CoachLars.com.

Today though I like to address one specific life changing situation too many of us are facing. Either because we are in the fight ourselves or becasue we have family or friends who are.

Transitions in Life are about CHANGE and change means taking ACTION.

Today I AM asking YOU to take ACTION. Action to FIGHT CANCER.

We ALL know someone who have been affected by cancer and I’m asking you to join me in the fight, and my initiative in support of fighting cancer (www.LetsFightCancer.org).

The website http://www.LetsFightCancer.org is right now linked to my blog but my hope is to set up a website and start donating proceeds from my Transition & Retirement Coaching business (www.CoachLars.com), with the hope my initiative will spark others, businesses as well as individuals, to take up the fight.

LetsFightCancer..together!

In the meantime please consider donating to your local chapter of American Cancer Society, StandUp2Cancer or any other charity in your community or country that support our fight to prevent, cure, and defeat cancer. Forget U Cancer (www.ForgetUCancer.org) is an example of a local Beacon, NY initiativ to help raising money to families in the community with family members who are fighting cancer.

God bless!

Our Fear…to “fail” Life.

Are we prisoners of our own expectations?

Are we so occupied by adding new “things” in our lives, lose weight, improve our self, strenghten our relationships, find a new partner, become “succesful”, make more money, spend more money…that we lose sight of what really matters?

Or do we chose to be in the moment and to deal with each transition/change as it happens,  without feeling we have to be acknowledged by anyone for what we have, but rather for who we are?

To look inside…do soul searching…rather than focusing our efforts on “improving” our outside – looks, things, “status” measured in money and what others see and thinks.

Isn’t it how we act, what we do for ourselves AND others, that should determine our success? So look inward – do soul searching. Be in the moment. Be mindful. And stop fearing you will “fail” life. Fear not. LIVE!

There’s an angel in my room,

She lives in my head.

She keeps my calm

And she whispers to me everything I say.

There’s another me inside my head and

she has the most beautiful soul.

She is love and hope,

and she tells me

how much I care.

 

 

A New Year…

One week in.

The transition into a New Year can be exhilarating, fearful and sometimes tearful…

Whatever feeling you have entering into a New Year it’s always a transition from the past into a future you know nothing about, but one that may present challenges you can prepare for.

To “have the life you want” it’s a good idea to “get the support you need”. A friend, a spouse, a trusted mentor…or a coach.

For more about my 5-step transition signature program “get ready 4change” visit www.CoachLars.com

Happy New Year!

A helping hand…coaching

Selfishness…or self fullness?

get ready 4 change with Lars – your Transition Coach

Remember that when we talk about goal setting, your attitudes, values and behavior it’s really about making sure that you stay in line with and are being true to your needs, opinions and perception.The distinction between selfishness and self fullness is that self fullness is being true to your needs, opinions and perception without worrying what others think and understanding an important difference that when we disappoint some people we are actually allowing them to find their own strenght.

For more about having the life you want, and getting the support you need, based on your needs, interest and values, go to www.CoachLars.com for a free consulation and to sign up for my 5-step transition signature program – “get ready 4 change”.

F.E.A.R. – be mindful of it.

F.E.A.R. – be mindful of your fear.

What brings a human being to the brink of doing things we can’t imagine anyone doing – good or evil? What makes the person cross the line of the impossible?

What’s the fuel feeding the transition…?

The answer may be F.E.A.R. and the words hidden in the acronym.

The emotions we feel and react to…in different ways…depending on the circumstances…always fueled by the level of fear we feel…of showing our emotions…or not. FYI the words in the acronym FEAR below are Swedish words translated to English in [..]

Förelskelse [Love]; the fear you feel when letting your guard down; displaying vulnerability…instead of “safety”.
Empati [Empathy]; the fear of the uncertainty you feel when showing compassion; easing someone’s pain…with less regard to your own.
Alienation [Alienation]; the fear you feel of being left out; of being lonely, not able to share your love, hate, passion or anxiety.
Reciprok altuism [Reciprocal altruism] or [“Ömsesidig nytta”]; the fear of having to reciprocate one favor with another; be in debt to someone…knowing you’ll never be free…or able to pay back.
_________________________________

In my fiction book “A Mindful Death”, (visit www.amindfuldeath.com for more and how to purchase a copy) the characters’ actions and the life they live, are fueled by F.E.A.R.

The “heroes and heroines” focus on the fuel that renew, rather than the fear that suffocate, felt by the “villains”.

The plot sees a long lost love romantically rekindled when the lovers determine to let their guards down; allow vulnerability into their relationship; letting their feelings, rather than logic, guide them.

Some of the characters display empathy, and then, others do not out of fear for retribution; the battle between good and evil…and the choices made by us which side to choose.

The alienation felt…and lived; secrets kept…never to be shared; the feeling of being left alone with one’s thoughts, conscience; not knowing…or understanding…if they are morally right… or wrong.

Bound by reciprocal altruism – not ever being allowed to stop reciprocating; indebted…for life.

________________________

 

A Mindful Death is of course a fiction book but the F.E.A.R. is real. Just like in our own daily lives we have choices to make how we want F.E.A.R. to influence our way of living…

The choice for us to make, and be mindful of, is to:

• acknowledge and manage our fear; to understand how fear fuel our feelings, thoughts, actions, and choices we make in life.
• show vulnerability; let our guards down…to embrace love.
• allow our emotions and impulses guide us…to show empathy.
• reach out for help and support…to dread alienation.
• help someone, expect nothing in return…to say no to reciprocal altruism.

​Fear not. LIVE…because Life is beautiful.

Life lessons learned from transitioning…

What does life transition mean and what would better managing them entail?

Let’s take a pivotal period in life – transitioning into retirement or semi-retirement. One of the things to look at, as in any transition, is the help needed to build resilience and skills in an individual facing this life changing transition.

Planning, preparing and preventing are three key words that first come to mind, and with a help of a coach you can enter into this new phase of your life confident and with more ease.

During any transition you hit barriers, road blocks, that have prevented you to succeed in the past. One is a behavioral barrier – the way we relate to others. Loneliness, for example, which so significantly impacts health later in life, is one important barrier you may face. Without the support of a partner, peers, family, friend, neighbors, an individual might find it considerably harder to face significant life changes.
On the other hand, reduced independence might prove detrimental because it can diminish the individual’s sense of control of his or her own destiny.

Attitudes also play a pivotal role in any transition. How we choose to enter into a transition. To capitalize on the lessons learnt from their own past experiences (or other’s) the individual is given a platform from where to better prepare for future difficult transitions. The challenge is that it may not be obvious how to do this and guidance from a coach could prove pivotal to the success of the change…to de-traumatize the transition.

Instead of fearing change, embrace it and instigate a change in perception from one of loss and hopelessness,  to one focused on assets that builds resilience.

Other barriers are related to family and social networks, and how to best “intervene” to put you back on track on your journey – your transition – into retirement.

These are a just a few of the challenges/barriers you’ll face in a transition but they give you an idea of what to expect if you choose not to plan, prepare and prevent. i.e. entering into the transition kind of blindfolded.

If you like to get help with a transition like this or any other transition you are facing in life, please get in touch with me to discuss how I can be of help – www.CoachLars.com