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F.E.A.R. – be mindful of your fear.

What brings a human being to the brink of doing things we can’t imagine anyone doing – good or evil? What makes the person cross the line of the impossible?

What’s the fuel feeding the transition…?

The answer may be F.E.A.R. and the words hidden in the acronym.

The emotions we feel and react to…in different ways…depending on the circumstances…always fueled by the level of fear we feel…of showing our emotions…or not. FYI the words in the acronym FEAR below are Swedish words translated to English in [..]

Förelskelse [Love]; the fear you feel when letting your guard down; displaying vulnerability…instead of “safety”.
Empati [Empathy]; the fear of the uncertainty you feel when showing compassion; easing someone’s pain…with less regard to your own.
Alienation [Alienation]; the fear you feel of being left out; of being lonely, not able to share your love, hate, passion or anxiety.
Reciprok altuism [Reciprocal altruism] or [“Ömsesidig nytta”]; the fear of having to reciprocate one favor with another; be in debt to someone…knowing you’ll never be free…or able to pay back.
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In my fiction book “A Mindful Death”, (visit www.amindfuldeath.com for more and how to purchase a copy) the characters’ actions and the life they live, are fueled by F.E.A.R.

The “heroes and heroines” focus on the fuel that renew, rather than the fear that suffocate, felt by the “villains”.

The plot sees a long lost love romantically rekindled when the lovers determine to let their guards down; allow vulnerability into their relationship; letting their feelings, rather than logic, guide them.

Some of the characters display empathy, and then, others do not out of fear for retribution; the battle between good and evil…and the choices made by us which side to choose.

The alienation felt…and lived; secrets kept…never to be shared; the feeling of being left alone with one’s thoughts, conscience; not knowing…or understanding…if they are morally right… or wrong.

Bound by reciprocal altruism – not ever being allowed to stop reciprocating; indebted…for life.

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A Mindful Death is of course a fiction book but the F.E.A.R. is real. Just like in our own daily lives we have choices to make how we want F.E.A.R. to influence our way of living…

The choice for us to make, and be mindful of, is to:

  • acknowledge and manage our fear; to understand how fear fuel our feelings, thoughts, actions, and choices we make in life.
  • show vulnerability; let our guards down…to embrace love.
  • allow our emotions and impulses guide us…to show empathy.
  • reach out for help and support…to dread alienation.
  • help someone, expect nothing in return…to say no to reciprocal altruism.

​Fear not. LIVE…because Life is beautiful.

What does life transition mean and what would better managing them entail?

Let’s take a pivotal period in life – transitioning into retirement or semi-retirement. One of the things to look at, as in any transition, is the help needed to build resilience and skills in an individual facing this life changing transition.

Planning, preparing and preventing are three key words that first come to mind, and with a help of a coach you can enter into this new phase of your life confident and with more ease.

During any transition you hit barriers, road blocks, that have prevented you to succeed in the past. One is a behavioral barrier – the way we relate to others. Loneliness, for example, which so significantly impacts health later in life, is one important barrier you may face. Without the support of a partner, peers, family, friend, neighbors, an individual might find it considerably harder to face significant life changes.
On the other hand, reduced independence might prove detrimental because it can diminish the individual’s sense of control of his or her own destiny.

Attitudes also play a pivotal role in any transition. How we choose to enter into a transition. To capitalize on the lessons learnt from their own past experiences (or other’s) the individual is given a platform from where to better prepare for future difficult transitions. The challenge is that it may not be obvious how to do this and guidance from a coach could prove pivotal to the success of the change…to de-traumatize the transition.

Instead of fearing change, embrace it and instigate a change in perception from one of loss and hopelessness,  to one focused on assets that builds resilience.

Other barriers are related to family and social networks, and how to best “intervene” to put you back on track on your journey – your transition – into retirement.

These are a just a few of the challenges/barriers you’ll face in a transition but they give you an idea of what to expect if you choose not to plan, prepare and prevent. i.e. entering into the transition kind of blindfolded.

If you like to get help with a transition like this or any other transition you are facing in life, please get in touch with me to discuss how I can be of help – www.CoachLars.com

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Lars – Transition & Retirement Coach

Certified Retirement Coach

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