Life Transitions – as seen from a “LifeStorian” point of view.

What’s a “LifeStorian” you may ask?

Let me first point out that we all, throughout Life, go through many transitions. Actually, Life is in the transitions. That’s where it all happens – in the transition itself we experience the ups and downs of life. We learn. We change. We move on. We LIVE. The key is to MANAGE life transitions. And that’s a skill. Specifically, they’re a skill we can, and must, master.

Bruce Feiler, the Author of “Life is in the transitions – mastering change at any age” – identified seven tools for navigating life transitions:

1. Accept it: identify your emotions
2. Mark it: ritualize the change
3. Shed it: give up the old mind-sets
4. Create it: try new things
5. Share it: seek wisdom from other

Once we know how to use those tools we’ll have a tool box from where we can get help when needed, and with the help of the tools, manage our life transitions.

So, what’s a LifeStorian? It’s a Storyteller of Life. It’s a way to, by using the frame work of “The Life Story Interview”, learn how you think about your life and how you turn the ups and downs of your life into who you are as a person – what’s important to you, how you got that way, who you are now. And how the different transitions of your life are connected and might have influenced each other.

The Story of your Life – in 15 minutes…

Transition Coaching (www.CoachLars.com) – Get Read for Change, to live by design, not by chance…is an example of how, by knowing and using the tools mentioned above, you can master the transitions you are facing.

My 5 step transition signature program “Get Ready 4 Change” is about making a choice to Live by Design…not by chance. To Plan and Prepare for the changes and transitions facing you, in order to Prevent surprises down the road (the three P’s in my signature program).

I also plan to, by using the techinque of a LifeStorian, write a book – “Daily Bits of Change” (www.DailyBitsOfChange.com) with the hope it will inspire, and help you, understand that Life is in the transitions.

What is Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching?

Imagine your encounter a problem.

Imagine you are equipped with a flashlight.

Awareness (mindfulness) is a bit like the flashlight. Whatever you direct the beam towards becomes visible in the dark. Oftentime you direct its beam toward the problem you encounter – and all the rest is in darkness.

What’s important is to widen the beam of your flashlight. By doing so, coaching may shed light on new and useful areas of you, facets and details become visible that previously had been in the dark. The focus of your awareness (mindfulness) widens. You are able to perceive other parts of your reality, re-describe how you in the past dealt with a similar situation and thus generate more options.

You have become more Mindful about your actions, observing without being caught up in it, and by not identifying with your actions you have set the stage for re-describing your problem, and focusing in on a solution – you have become aware of your expanded choices, you are now Focused on a Solution.

One very central effect of Coaching, and the Transition Coaching I do, consists of your increased self-confidence in your own ability, and trust, to master a difficult situation. Confidence is a prerequisite for taking small steps for change. The coaching creates a framework in which you, my client, become aware of your competencies and resources and are able to access them – you become aware of the competencies you previously used to master situations that were as difficult as the one at hand, re-describe, re-discover, and if you trust in yourself, you will be able to try something new and different to reach your goals (and a solution to your problem).

This is what Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching is, and that’s my approach in my Transition Coaching service I offer.

Get Ready 4 Change. Have the Life you want! Get the support you need.

Visit CoachLars.com for more.

LetsFightCancer.org

My Friends!

Yes, my blog is about to Live by Design. Have the life you want. Get the help you need @www.CoachLars.com.

Today though I like to address one specific life changing situation too many of us are facing. Either because we are in the fight ourselves or becasue we have family or friends who are.

Transitions in Life are about CHANGE and change means taking ACTION.

Today I AM asking YOU to take ACTION. Action to FIGHT CANCER.

We ALL know someone who have been affected by cancer and I’m asking you to join me in the fight, and my initiative in support of fighting cancer (www.LetsFightCancer.org).

The website http://www.LetsFightCancer.org is right now linked to my blog but my hope is to set up a website and start donating proceeds from my Transition & Retirement Coaching business (www.CoachLars.com), with the hope my initiative will spark others, businesses as well as individuals, to take up the fight.

LetsFightCancer..together!

In the meantime please consider donating to your local chapter of American Cancer Society, StandUp2Cancer or any other charity in your community or country that support our fight to prevent, cure, and defeat cancer. Forget U Cancer (www.ForgetUCancer.org) is an example of a local Beacon, NY initiativ to help raising money to families in the community with family members who are fighting cancer.

God bless!

Feel the FEAR…& do it anyway.

 

Everybody feels fear when dealing with something totally new in life, yet many people are out there ‘doing it’ anyway.

This must mean that fear is not the problem.

It’s how we deal with fear. How we hold the fear.

For some, they hold their fear from a place of power (their fear gives them choice, energy, and action. For others, it creates a state of shut down and they hold their fear from a place of pain (their fear makes them feel helpless, depressed, and stuck).

The cure for our fear lies in saying ‘yes’.

The phrase ‘say yes’ means ‘to agree to’ those things that Life hands to us.

Saying yes means not struggling against, but letting in the opportunities of seeing the World in new ways. On the other hand, saying no means to be a victim. ‘How could this happen to me!’

Saying no means to block, to fight, to struggle against opportunities for growth and challenge. Saying no creates tension, tiredness, wasted energy, upset feelings, – or, worse, it creates a lack of caring.

Say yes to Life. Join in. Move. Act. Write. Read. Stand up. Take a stand. Or do whatever works for you. Get involved in the process.

Become what you want to attract.

Be the kind of person you want to surround yourself with.

Be the change you want to see in others…

…and embrace FEAR in the process.

Our Fear…to “fail” Life.

Are we prisoners of our own expectations?

Are we so occupied by adding new “things” in our lives, lose weight, improve our self, strenghten our relationships, find a new partner, become “succesful”, make more money, spend more money…that we lose sight of what really matters?

Or do we chose to be in the moment and to deal with each transition/change as it happens,  without feeling we have to be acknowledged by anyone for what we have, but rather for who we are?

To look inside…do soul searching…rather than focusing our efforts on “improving” our outside – looks, things, “status” measured in money and what others see and thinks.

Isn’t it how we act, what we do for ourselves AND others, that should determine our success? So look inward – do soul searching. Be in the moment. Be mindful. And stop fearing you will “fail” life. Fear not. LIVE!

There’s an angel in my room,

She lives in my head.

She keeps my calm

And she whispers to me everything I say.

There’s another me inside my head and

she has the most beautiful soul.

She is love and hope,

and she tells me

how much I care.

 

 

A New Year…

One week in.

The transition into a New Year can be exhilarating, fearful and sometimes tearful…

Whatever feeling you have entering into a New Year it’s always a transition from the past into a future you know nothing about, but one that may present challenges you can prepare for.

To “have the life you want” it’s a good idea to “get the support you need”. A friend, a spouse, a trusted mentor…or a coach.

For more about my 5-step transition signature program “get ready 4change” visit www.CoachLars.com

Happy New Year!

A helping hand…coaching

Life lessons learned from transitioning…

What does life transition mean and what would better managing them entail?

Let’s take a pivotal period in life – transitioning into retirement or semi-retirement. One of the things to look at, as in any transition, is the help needed to build resilience and skills in an individual facing this life changing transition.

Planning, preparing and preventing are three key words that first come to mind, and with a help of a coach you can enter into this new phase of your life confident and with more ease.

During any transition you hit barriers, road blocks, that have prevented you to succeed in the past. One is a behavioral barrier – the way we relate to others. Loneliness, for example, which so significantly impacts health later in life, is one important barrier you may face. Without the support of a partner, peers, family, friend, neighbors, an individual might find it considerably harder to face significant life changes.
On the other hand, reduced independence might prove detrimental because it can diminish the individual’s sense of control of his or her own destiny.

Attitudes also play a pivotal role in any transition. How we choose to enter into a transition. To capitalize on the lessons learnt from their own past experiences (or other’s) the individual is given a platform from where to better prepare for future difficult transitions. The challenge is that it may not be obvious how to do this and guidance from a coach could prove pivotal to the success of the change…to de-traumatize the transition.

Instead of fearing change, embrace it and instigate a change in perception from one of loss and hopelessness,  to one focused on assets that builds resilience.

Other barriers are related to family and social networks, and how to best “intervene” to put you back on track on your journey – your transition – into retirement.

These are a just a few of the challenges/barriers you’ll face in a transition but they give you an idea of what to expect if you choose not to plan, prepare and prevent. i.e. entering into the transition kind of blindfolded.

If you like to get help with a transition like this or any other transition you are facing in life, please get in touch with me to discuss how I can be of help – www.CoachLars.com

Mindfulness…10 Simple Ways to Live a Less Stressful Life

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me , I’d still have to say it.”

– George F. Burns

 

1. One thing at a time. Do it right now. Remove distractions.

2. Simplify your schedule. Learn to say no. Leave room for down time and fun.

3. Get moving. Walk, hike, play a sport, go for a run, do yoga.

4. Develop one healthy habit this month. One habit at a time – for example eat fruit and veggies for snack, drink water instead of soda.

5. Do something calming. Find what calms you down. Housework, yard work, meditation, nature walk, reading, taking a bath.

6. Simplify your finances. Automate savings and bill payments and debt payments. Find ways to have fun that don’t involve spending money.

7. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even it’s just for a few minutes. Laugh a lot and often. Smile.

8. Get creative. If you like to write, do so. If you prefer to paint or play music or sketch or make pottery or do interior design or build things…Just do it!

9. Declutter. Take 20-30 minutes to just to through a room, getting rid of stuff you don’t use or need anymore.

10. Be early. Schedule some buffer time to avoid being late – because being late can be very stressful…and if you get somewhere early, meditate!

 

Now your life will probably never be stress-free – I don’t think that’s even desirable, even if is possible, because stress is something that challenges us and helps us grow. At a reasonable level. But when stress gets too high, it causes us to be unhappy and unhealthy.

Mindfulness…

“It is indeed a radical act of love just to sit down and be quiet for a time by yourself…It is only love that can give us insight into what is real and what is important. And so a radical act of love makes sense, love for life and for the emergence of one’s truest self.” —– Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

“Undress your soul at night, as you do your body” – George Herbert

To bare our heart (or soul) to someone, to reveal our innermost thoughts…to undress your soul. Check out my illustration – Feelings & Expressions©.