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Some thoughts I actually put down for my daughters’ journeys into adulthood 🙂

We always have a choice.

Make sure you always work with others because others, regardless of your feelings towards them, teach you to listen, appreciate, and accept who YOU are, and strive to be.

Be aware of your own potential, skill sets and make sure to sharpen them – then find others with skills that compliment yours…and together you WILL achieve more.

Life is not a journey you travel on alone – make friends, good friends, who will not only compliment you and support you but also tell you when you are wrong…

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Why do some couples seem so head-over-heels? It’s not that their lives are any easier or more perfect than yours – but they do know how to keep the daily grind from eroding their relationship. Get some of what they have by incorporating the following happy-couple strategies into your love life.

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Be present.

Train your mind to stay in the moment – focus on the person in front of you, the activity you are doing right now or the feeling you feel. Thinking about your next move, be it planning for tomorrow’s work or planning that dream vacation, has its place and time – make sure your thoughts do not wander aimlessly over the whole spectrum of activities – stay in the moment.

Why do some couples seem so head-over-heels? It’s not that their lives are any easier or more perfect than yours – but they do know how to keep the daily grind from eroding their relationship. Get some of what they have by incorporating the following happy-couple strategies into your love life.

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Help your partner feel more loved and secure in your love so that he or she can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Compliment, praise, give a hug. Small gestures make the grandest statements.

Stress…we all talk about being stressed. What do we really refer to?

We generally use the word “stress” when we feel that everything seems to have become too much – we are overloaded and wonder whether we really can cope with the pressures placed upon us.

Anything that poses a challenge or a threat to our well-being is a stress. Some stresses get you going and they are good for you – without any stress at all many say our lives would be boring and would probably feel pointless. However, when the stresses undermine both our mental and physical health they are bad. In this post I shall be focusing on proven strategies for beating stress that is bad for you:

Socialize. See friends, relatives, go to club meetings. Stay connected. This is paramount.

Practice above 🙂 !

 

 

The "Personal Self"

Who am I? What makes me unique? Where am I going in life? Am I comfortable with myself? Solitude is a chance to learn something about yourself. Self-discovery is a process that involves asking and answering the questions above.

Solitude also provides an opportunity for perspective. When you’re caught up in the hassles of day-to-day life, all you can see is what’s directly in front of you – the problem of the moment. If you want to see and appreciate the big picture of what your life’s all about, you have to step back and get a bird’s-eye view – and that’s exactly what solitude allows you to do.

Taking time for yourself is often viewed as selfish and uproductive. Solitude is also uncomortable for many people because they’ve learned to derive their self-esteem from activities initiated by their “other selves” – that is, their efforts to satisfy themselves by satisfying others. But there are important benefits that come from spending time with your “personal self”, that part of you that doesn’t need other people to be happy…:)

The last couple of posts have dealt with choices – a choice how to live your life, with whom, the feelings you choose to have and the thoughts you decide to have about yourself and others. Always keep in mind though that the choices you make affect others, in a positive OR negative way dependent on the attitudes and values of the people around you – spouse, family, friends, co-workers etc. The best possible way of making sure your choices DO NOT send out negative signals is to Let go of the Past…Letting go is the choice to live life in the present – in a positive way – regardless of anything negative that may have occurred in the past.

*Ask yourself to what extent you believe your life now, is affected in any negative way, from things that happened to you in the past? Almost never, Occasionally, or Frequently – and why?

*Ask yourself if you make a determined effort to move forward, and let past negatives go? And what do you do about any negatives that could still be holding you back?

*Ask yourself if you ever see past problems or failures (by the way, you can not fail as long as you decide not to quit trying…) as adequate reasons why you should not succeed now?

*Ask yourself what one negative from your past, if any, you would most like to get past, and move beyond it?

Then find three creative, positive ways to reward yourself – for making the choice to live in the present, and build an incredible future for yourself AND the people around you who may have been innnocent bystanders and targets of your inability of letting go of the past.

Everyone has a future – choose to plan yours.

Set your goals taking into account your values, attitudes and habits, working with your strenghts to raise the likelihood of you achieving what you set out to achieve. Work with an Emotional Intelligence goal-setting model, engaging your emotional brain as well as your thinking brain.

* Values: understand what is really important about the goal, what will be great about achieving it in the grand scheme of things.
* Attitudes: check that your positive attitudes and beliefs will support and be supported by your values.
* Awareness: be aware of your intentions with the goal you set. Your intention is strongly linked to your values – by knowing what’s important about your goal, why you are working towards it, you can use your strenghts, personal power and flexibility to keep on track.
* Do: consider what behaviour helps you achieve the goal. Positive behaviours will strenghten your positive attitudes and fulfil your personal values.
* Done: give your goal a deadline! It improves the chances of success to know when you’ll be in the new situation.

Goals are vehicles for living your values…Sounds complicated? Maybe so, but when you think about it – isn’t the best day, “Your ideal day”, filled with activities that results in an experience of positive emotions and highs? Yes, of course you say – that’s obvious…but I don’t know what my values are…That’s why we, together, will work on what’s important to you and by doing so we will start finding out what your values are – the Values Staircase asks the question WIATY (What’s Important About…To You) starting with What is important about success to you?

Find out more- visit my CoachLars.com site for a free consultation!

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Lars – Transition & Retirement Coach

Certified Retirement Coach

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