You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘EQ’ tag.

Mindfulness is awareness of, and an alert observing of your thoughts, emotions, body sensations, desires, memories, images, personality dynamics, attitudes, motivation, behavior, etc.

When you are mindful of something, you are observing it, not caught up in it and not identified with it. With people, you become more settled into being fully there with them, more peacefully relaxed in awareness of them and you and what’s happening, less identified with pleasant or unpleasant reactions that arise, less caught up in the past or future or sense of needing to make something happen. We can feel it immediately when someone else is mindfully present with us; similarly, others can feel it when you are that way yourself.

Hmm...being in the presence

Hmm…being in the presence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ThinkLARS – Life stress relieving Awareness and Resources for your Success!

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, M.B.S.R., and Solution-Focused coaching operate out of the understanding that by being aware of, and learn to consciously and systematically work with stress, pain, illness, and the challenges and demands of everyday life, by not turning away from them, but learning to be resilient with and through them, and to be willing to “own them”, YOU, together with your Coach, can design small do-able changes that will help you be more aligned with your beliefs and values.

Let’s look at that definition in more depth and let’s start with Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” Mindfulness is about being fully aware of whatever is happening (good or bad) in the present moment, without filters or the lens of judgement. It’s about being aware, and living in the here and now. You may say, that’s fine but how does that reduce my stress level I live with day in and day out…?

What if you could become mindful of your stress reactions and learn to respond to them in a more constructive and harmonious way than for example respond to being stuck in traffic by cursing, becoming agitated, angry, frustrated and honking your horn as if that would open up a lane for you to drive away and escape the bumper to bumper traffic…?

The tension throughout your body, rapid or irregular breathing, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles are turning white, or the more hidden impact of anxiety and irritation, such as elevated heart rate, blood pressure, or body temperature CAN be reversed by becoming aware (being mindful) or your physical tension, return to the present moment and release your death grip on the steering wheel, breath mindfully, which will gradually regulate other internal symptoms of stress, including heart rate and blood pressure.

In short, mindfulness allows you to see your experience of being stuck in traffic clearly, and it can help you become more aware of how stress affects you, making you a more active participant in your health and well-being and experience any moment, no matter how difficult or intense, with more balance and peace.

You have just chosen a more “skillful” response to being stuck in traffic…

ThinkLARS – Life stress relieving Awareness and Resources for your Success!

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me , I’d still have to say it.”

George F. Burns

 

1. One thing at a time. Do it right now. Remove distractions.

2. Simplify your schedule. Learn to say no. Leave room for down time and fun.

3. Get moving. Walk, hike, play a sport, go for a run, do yoga.

4. Develop one healthy habit this month. One habit at a time – for example eat fruit and veggies for snack, drink water instead of soda.

5. Do something calming. Find what calms you down. Housework, yard work, meditation, nature walk, reading, taking a bath.

6. Simplify your finances. Automate savings and bill payments and debt payments. Find ways to have fun that don’t involve spending money.

7. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even it’s just for a few minutes. Laugh a lot and often. Smile.

8. Get creative. If you like to write, do so. If you prefer to paint or play music or sketch or make pottery or do interior design or build things…Just do it!

9. Declutter. Take 20-30 minutes to just to through a room, getting rid of stuff you don’t use or need anymore.

10. Be early. Schedule some buffer time to avoid being late – because being late can be very stressful…and if you get somewhere early, meditate!

 

Now your life will probably never be stress-free – I don’t think that’s even desirable, even if is possible, because stress is something that challenges us and helps us grow. At a reasonable level. But when stress gets too high, it causes us to be unhappy and unhealthy.

“It is indeed a radical act of love just to sit down and be quiet for a time by yourself…It is only love that can give us insight into what is real and what is important. And so a radical act of love makes sense, love for life and for the emergence of one’s truest self.” —– Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

To bare our heart (or soul) to someone, to reveal our innermost thoughts…to undress your soul. Check out my illustration – Feelings & Expressions©.

 

Expressions

Expression of Joy – photo by Lars

Begin & end each day with an Expression of Joy! Then you know you have done something that day to not only add value to your own well-being but in the process you have touched so many others – many whom you’ll never see again, some you’ll wake up next to in the morning.

The key to understand joy in the things you see or do is awareness. Awareness is knowing what is happening around you. Self-awareness is knowing what you are experiencing. When you truly accept, choose or take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions, your commitments to them rises and so does your “expression of joy”… Being aware of who you are is also about knowing your interests, attitudes and values – for more about that contact me for a free consultation!

I posted this blog back in the fall of 2013. Thought it was worthwhile to repeat it now in the beginning of a new year. We all need to be reminded about what matters in a relationship – remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other…

A personal note related to above…Back in 2001, I became a stay-home-dad and had the great fortune for the next 10 years to be part of my kids every day fun laughter, tears, learning and challenges. I experienced first hand that is it NO cliche – it really is the small things in life that matters. It is also not what you do out of need – the volunteering I experienced in schools wasn’t done out of need…it was done out of love. And the reward wasn’t money in your pocket – it was an investment, a deposit in our heart and soul.

Now, looking back at those years and seeing the love and appreciation in the, by now, young women that used to be my kids running around, pulling my hand, urging me to come and play, give them a hand, read and feed them not only food but knowledge and experience, I know it was all worth it. And I know it wasn’t necessarily that they NEEDED me but rather that they got what the LOVE they wanted to grow up, establishing their own personal interests, attitudes and values – a belief system that will follow them through life.

So, remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other 🙂

It’s been said that in order to feel fulfilled you should focus on one or two small things to accomplish each day. In my coaching I talk about identifying short-and long-term goals, aligned with your interests, attitudes and values – your true purpose and priorities – bringing you – on the road map of life – closer to your final destination.

Life doesn’t have to be something that just “happens” to you. You have more of a say in your future than you might imagine. Of the ones I’ve coached, many, who feel they didn’t  wind up “where they wanted to be” had only the vaguest idea of where that place was. They were somehow without direction but admitted to have no focus to begin with. In other words, they were lost from the very beginning, because they didn’t have the life road map – never drew one, never took the time to write down the short-and long-term goals, their direction.

Lars: five years from now and the journey to get there starts with me finding out a) what’s important to me about success [The Values Staircase, a ThinkLars trademark] and b) how “balanced” is my wheel of life [The Wheel of Life, a Meyer Resource Inc. trademark]. It’s about my values – the guidelines I’ll bring with me on my journey and the fuel I need to succeed. What is it I need to accomplish, to satisfy, and how do I find the most rewarding road on the road map of life? The more balanced my “wheels” are the smoother the ride, the faster I can travel (if I so choose to), or the more I’ll enjoy the ride! There are eight spokes on the wheel that, together, and if balanced, will make the wheel roll with fewer bumps and lessen the risk of “deflation”.

1. Professional, 2. Routine, 3. Love, 4. Family, 5. Personal, 6. Self-Development, 7.Wellness and 8. Social

Let’s start with Professional – this area (“spoke”) relates to what I do for a living: the studies, job, career, projects, level of competence, colleagues, hierarchy, self-accomplishment, and working conditions I experience – and how “satisfied” I am with each one of them.  Routine – this “spoke” concerns time management, money, necessary documents, home management, housework, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc., and how they are all graded/satisfied/taken care of at the present moment. I think you get the grasp of how the Wheel of Life exercise works. The more balanced the 8 spokes are,  the better prepared you are for the road ahead.

If you decide you need someone by your side who will focus entirely on you, and who will help and support you in getting what you really want, to define, set, and track your own goals – then I’ll be your Coach throughout your journey. Feel free to send me your comments (using the form below).

It’s about finding out more about yourself, self-discovery, getting to know and trust the only person who is responsible for your own happiness. And you will all have front row to my journey, hoping to inspire you to set sail on your own journey and if so, I’ll be there to help, support and track your progress.

Curious?  Get in touch with me for your own, no-cost, initial consultation. I promise you it will take no more than 15 minutes of your time and you will leave with a better understanding of what is important to you, what you value and what the key checkpoints on your journey will be! 🙂

Came across the following quote when studying cognitive behavioral coaching techniques – it’s a powerful reminder that we choose our attitude…and the way we look at a situation, regardless how hopeless it may seem…

Viktor Frankl, an eminent psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz, wrote:

” We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.”

 

Some thoughts I actually put down for my daughters’ journeys into adulthood 🙂

We always have a choice.

Make sure you always work with others because others, regardless of your feelings towards them, teach you to listen, appreciate, and accept who YOU are, and strive to be.

Be aware of your own potential, skill sets and make sure to sharpen them – then find others with skills that compliment yours…and together you WILL achieve more.

Life is not a journey you travel on alone – make friends, good friends, who will not only compliment you and support you but also tell you when you are wrong…

184079_203949972953279_197000803648196_843577_3745224_n

Receive notifications of new posts by email

Join 35 other followers

Lars – Transition & Retirement Coach

Certified Retirement Coach

Archives

July 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jun    
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
%d bloggers like this: