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The "Personal Self"

Who am I? What makes me unique? Where am I going in life? Am I comfortable with myself? Solitude is a chance to learn something about yourself. Self-discovery is a process that involves asking and answering the questions above.

Solitude also provides an opportunity for perspective. When you’re caught up in the hassles of day-to-day life, all you can see is what’s directly in front of you – the problem of the moment. If you want to see and appreciate the big picture of what your life’s all about, you have to step back and get a bird’s-eye view – and that’s exactly what solitude allows you to do.

Taking time for yourself is often viewed as selfish and uproductive. Solitude is also uncomortable for many people because they’ve learned to derive their self-esteem from activities initiated by their “other selves” – that is, their efforts to satisfy themselves by satisfying others. But there are important benefits that come from spending time with your “personal self”, that part of you that doesn’t need other people to be happy…:)

On my way over to Sweden I took the time to study some of my passengers prior to embarking on the plane and during the flight itself. The fear of flying takes a lot of different forms – but can you actually spot a nervous person by just observing their physical behavior? Maybe. But if you would ask each one of the passengers what that person is afraid of, you may be surprised to hear that the calmest, “coolest” passenger is the one who is the most afraid…

….and when asking that person what he/she is afraid of, the answer usually is “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure”. Fear is a skeptical feeling like in a horror movie. You just think something bad is going to happen, and you sit on the edge of your seat and wait for the unknown.

Change brings unknowns with it. Managing change is the art of breaking down unknowns into predictable and hopeful visions of the future. How far you can go is as far as you can see. When you become blind with fear, you can’t go anywhere. Through self-accountability, we take on self-awareness, and move forward through self-improvement.

So, going back to the fear of flying – and not knowing exactly what the person is afraid of – you need to break down the perceived fear into predictable and hopeful visions of the future – of the next 8 hours on an airplane, controlled by skilled pilots who know very well that by being proactive, turning problems into challenges, and through accountability, self-awareness, and self improvement (continued ed), these challenges are transformed into opportunities (to in a case of an emergency, respond by using all the known predictables of the emergency to conquer any perceived fear of the unknown).

So, how do you overcome the fear of flying, heights, making a lifechanging decision or a career change? You simply won’t allow any “barriers” into your life:). You choose to transform the barriers, the challenges, into opportunities to conquer, resolve and build your new life, fearless of the unknown…

The following is my interpretation and free translation of a song written by the Swedish artist Melissa Horn – “Lat du henne komma narmre”. How you choose to live your life is a choice – who you live and share it with is a choice – how you feel about the choices you make is a choice…

I wanted to meet you somewhere deep down in the darkness,
I’ve been there before and not afraid,
and your eyes they change colors in the light,
you may open them up now, I’m prepared.

Why did you let the feelings in, why did you let them take over, why do you think more about those feelings than you think about me?
Is it better now than ever, there are days when I think more about that than I think about you…
I’m walking next to you but is falling behind, do not have the strength to follow you, losing pace and cannot run, trying to show you with my eyes how much I care…but it’s not me you see…
This place belongs to someone else and I have to find a way out, how do I love somone who lost the love to someone else…

I don’t remember how it happened, just what and who it is, but it was me who let it happen, it was me who brought it in. I’v tried to blame it all on you, although I know I share the blame with you.

We are standing here and now, exchanging a few words withoug meaning anymore, the darkness seems so deep and scary, but I’ve been there before and not afraid.

Why did you let the feelings in, why did you let them take over, why do you think more about those feelings than you think about me?
Is it better now than ever, there are days when I think more about that than I think about you…
I’m walking next to you but is falling behind, do not have the strength to follow you, losing pace and cannot run, trying to show you with my eyes how much I care…but it’s not me you see…
This place belongs to someone else and I have to find a way out, how do I love somone who lost the love to someone else…

I don’t remember how it happened, just what and who it is.

In certain situations it feels empty and lonely, being lost. Do you ever wonder what I think holding on so tight it hurts, just like the feelings that are hurt.
We very seldom speak about our future, we never speak about what we have…
we never speak about things that matters, we never seem to want to spare the time,
and your dreams are getting cloudy, mine are almost no longer there.

Why did you let the feelings in, why did you let them take over, why do you think more about those feelings than you think about me?
Is it better now than ever, there are days when I think more about that than I think about you…
I’m walking next to you but is falling behind, do not have the strength to follow you, losing pace and cannot run, trying to show you with my eyes how much I care…but it’s not me you see…
This place belongs to someone else and I have to find a way out, how do I love somone who lost the love to someone else…

I don’t remember how it happened, just what and who it is.

Why did you let the feelings in, why did you let them take over, why do you think more about those feelings than you think about me?
Is it better now than ever, there are days when I think more about that than I think about you…
I’m walking next to you but is falling behind, do not have the strength to follow you, losing pace and cannot run, trying to show you with my eyes how much I care…but it’s not me you see…
This place belongs to someone else and I have to find a way out, how do I love somone who lost the love to someone else…?

Art photographer David Drebin has just published another master piece – The Morning After. “Sometimes you get the picture right away”, he explains in an interview with New York Daily News. “It’s like meeting somone. Sometimes you like someone right away. Other times it takes a while to get to know them, and it takes a while to get to like them. It’s the same with photography. Sometimes you get the photograph right away. And sometimes you’ve got to build up to get it.”

Pictures, like life, is never about the picture you see – it’s about the picture you don’t see…That’s what makes an interesting photograph and that’s what makes life interesting – a person is always more interesting when they’re mysterious as opposed to when they give everything away. We want to be challenged, in life, in art, in coaching – challenged to understand what’s under the surface, scratch to find out more – not just be “spoon fed” but to take an “active” part in finding out more.

A photography and life needs an interpretator – YOU are the interpretator when looking at a piece of art and together, you and me as your Life Coach, are interpretators of Life and what makes you take actions to reach your goals.

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Team-Building/Cross-Cultural Trainer

Team-Building/Cross-Cultural Trainer

Lars Bolin, Team-Building/Cross-Cultural Trainer & Project Management Lite Consultant

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