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I posted this blog back in the fall of 2013. Thought it was worthwhile to repeat it now in the beginning of a new year. We all need to be reminded about what matters in a relationship – remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other…

A personal note related to above…Back in 2001, I became a stay-home-dad and had the great fortune for the next 10 years to be part of my kids every day fun laughter, tears, learning and challenges. I experienced first hand that is it NO cliche – it really is the small things in life that matters. It is also not what you do out of need – the volunteering I experienced in schools wasn’t done out of need…it was done out of love. And the reward wasn’t money in your pocket – it was an investment, a deposit in our heart and soul.

Now, looking back at those years and seeing the love and appreciation in the, by now, young women that used to be my kids running around, pulling my hand, urging me to come and play, give them a hand, read and feed them not only food but knowledge and experience, I know it was all worth it. And I know it wasn’t necessarily that they NEEDED me but rather that they got what the LOVE they wanted to grow up, establishing their own personal interests, attitudes and values – a belief system that will follow them through life.

So, remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other 🙂

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Practice saying “No” to things that don’t bring you inner peace and fulfillment, whether they are material goods, great career responsibility or added social activities. Be vigilant with your time and energy; they are limited resources. If you say “Yes” to one thing (like a job promotion), recognize that you are saying “No” to something else (perhaps more time with family). Live consciously and deliberately.

🙂

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Seek the support of others who want to simplify their lives. Join or start a simplicity circle if you enjoy group interaction. Living simply in our culture can be a lonely journey, one that friends and family still on the earn-and-spend treadmill may not understand.

It’s been said that in order to feel fulfilled you should focus on one or two small things to accomplish each day. In my coaching I talk about identifying short-and long-term goals, aligned with your interests, attitudes and values – your true purpose and priorities – bringing you – on the road map of life – closer to your final destination.

Life doesn’t have to be something that just “happens” to you. You have more of a say in your future than you might imagine. Of the ones I’ve coached, many, who feel they didn’t  wind up “where they wanted to be” had only the vaguest idea of where that place was. They were somehow without direction but admitted to have no focus to begin with. In other words, they were lost from the very beginning, because they didn’t have the life road map – never drew one, never took the time to write down the short-and long-term goals, their direction.

Lars: five years from now and the journey to get there starts with me finding out a) what’s important to me about success [The Values Staircase, a ThinkLars trademark] and b) how “balanced” is my wheel of life [The Wheel of Life, a Meyer Resource Inc. trademark]. It’s about my values – the guidelines I’ll bring with me on my journey and the fuel I need to succeed. What is it I need to accomplish, to satisfy, and how do I find the most rewarding road on the road map of life? The more balanced my “wheels” are the smoother the ride, the faster I can travel (if I so choose to), or the more I’ll enjoy the ride! There are eight spokes on the wheel that, together, and if balanced, will make the wheel roll with fewer bumps and lessen the risk of “deflation”.

1. Professional, 2. Routine, 3. Love, 4. Family, 5. Personal, 6. Self-Development, 7.Wellness and 8. Social

Let’s start with Professional – this area (“spoke”) relates to what I do for a living: the studies, job, career, projects, level of competence, colleagues, hierarchy, self-accomplishment, and working conditions I experience – and how “satisfied” I am with each one of them.  Routine – this “spoke” concerns time management, money, necessary documents, home management, housework, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc., and how they are all graded/satisfied/taken care of at the present moment. I think you get the grasp of how the Wheel of Life exercise works. The more balanced the 8 spokes are,  the better prepared you are for the road ahead.

If you decide you need someone by your side who will focus entirely on you, and who will help and support you in getting what you really want, to define, set, and track your own goals – then I’ll be your Coach throughout your journey. Feel free to send me your comments (using the form below).

It’s about finding out more about yourself, self-discovery, getting to know and trust the only person who is responsible for your own happiness. And you will all have front row to my journey, hoping to inspire you to set sail on your own journey and if so, I’ll be there to help, support and track your progress.

Curious?  Get in touch with me for your own, no-cost, initial consultation. I promise you it will take no more than 15 minutes of your time and you will leave with a better understanding of what is important to you, what you value and what the key checkpoints on your journey will be! 🙂

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Follow my blog over the next 10 weeks for 10 different “recipes for simplicity” and see if you can simplify your life and be happier and more fulfilled in the process 🙂

Connect with a sense of spirit in your life, whether through prayer, religious services, journal writing, meditation, or spiritually related reading. Simplicity leads to spirituality and spirituality leads to simplicity. Cultivate a practice of silence and solitude, even if for just 15 to 30 minutes a day. Your spirituality will evolve naturally 🙂

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Seventh “recipe” – Spend at least an hour a week in a natural setting away from crowds of people, traffic and buildings. Three or four is even better. There is nothing more basic or simple than the natural world. 🙂

Came across the following quote when studying cognitive behavioral coaching techniques – it’s a powerful reminder that we choose our attitude…and the way we look at a situation, regardless how hopeless it may seem…

Viktor Frankl, an eminent psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz, wrote:

” We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.”

 

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Sixth “recipe” -Live simply to dream big in a whole new way. Take a month or more every few years to go live in a foreign country. Living in a different culture fascinates, excites and vitalizes us. It teaches us to live in the present, a core practice of simple living. We gain perspective when we experience a foreign culture and learn how much we have to be grateful for.

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Fifth “recipe” -Limit children to between one and three extracurricular activities a week, depending on their age. Otherwise, you will exhaust yourself, and your children may grow up addicted to constant stimulation.

Living simply has a lot to do with giving yourself permission to say “no”. It means freeing ourselves from commitments and obligations that complicate life or interfere with what we really want to do. Identify one or two things or events that burden you and simply let it go…

By wanting – and sometimes, doing – less, we create more space for the things that really matter.

Fourth “recipe” -Work no more than 30 minutes from home. Preserve your energy and money for more rewarding life experiences.

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Lars – Transition & Retirement Coach

Certified Retirement Coach

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