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Imagine your encounter a problem.

Imagine you are equipped with a flashlight.

Awareness (mindfulness) is a bit like the flashlight. Whatever you direct the beam towards becomes visible in the dark. Oftentime you direct its beam toward the problem you encounter – and all the rest is in darkness.

What’s important is to widen the beam of your flashlight. By doing so, coaching may shed light on new and useful areas of you, facets and details become visible that previously had been in the dark. The focus of your awareness (mindfulness) widens. You are able to perceive other parts of your reality, re-describe how you in the past dealt with a similar situation and thus generate more options.

You have become more Mindful about your actions, observing without being caught up in it, and by not identifying with your actions you have set the stage for re-describing your problem, and focusing in on a solution – you have become aware of your expanded choices, you are now Focused on a Solution.

One very central effect of Coaching, and the Transition Coaching I do, consists of your increased self-confidence in your own ability, and trust, to master a difficult situation. Confidence is a prerequisite for taking small steps for change. The coaching creates a framework in which you, my client, become aware of your competencies and resources and are able to access them – you become aware of the competencies you previously used to master situations that were as difficult as the one at hand, re-describe, re-discover, and if you trust in yourself, you will be able to try something new and different to reach your goals (and a solution to your problem).

This is what Mindful Solution-Focused Coaching is, and that’s my approach in my Transition Coaching service I offer.

Get Ready 4 Change. Have the Life you want! Get the support you need.

Visit CoachLars.com for more.

 

Everybody feels fear when dealing with something totally new in life, yet many people are out there ‘doing it’ anyway.

This must mean that fear is not the problem.

It’s how we deal with fear. How we hold the fear.

For some, they hold their fear from a place of power (their fear gives them choice, energy, and action. For others, it creates a state of shut down and they hold their fear from a place of pain (their fear makes them feel helpless, depressed, and stuck).

The cure for our fear lies in saying ‘yes’.

The phrase ‘say yes’ means ‘to agree to’ those things that Life hands to us.

Saying yes means not struggling against, but letting in the opportunities of seeing the World in new ways. On the other hand, saying no means to be a victim. ‘How could this happen to me!’

Saying no means to block, to fight, to struggle against opportunities for growth and challenge. Saying no creates tension, tiredness, wasted energy, upset feelings, – or, worse, it creates a lack of caring.

Say yes to Life. Join in. Move. Act. Write. Read. Stand up. Take a stand. Or do whatever works for you. Get involved in the process.

Become what you want to attract.

Be the kind of person you want to surround yourself with.

Be the change you want to see in others…

…and embrace FEAR in the process.

Enlight57.jpg

Enlight29.jpg

When darkness cover the northern hemisphere we become ever so mindful of the light we look for in everything and everyone.

The candles flicker in the windows. The fire sparks inside the warm and cozy place we like to call home. The decorations, making every town an inviting place to gather for residents, visitors and strangers alike.

My book A Mindful Death (www.amindfuldeath.com) is actually the perfect companion on a damp, cold winter day. So snuggle up in your favorite reading chair or sofa with a cup of cocoa or heated red wine (or “glögg” as the locals call it). Visit the wonderful towns of Cold Spring, New York and Perugia, Italy, together with Harry Anderson who uncovers secrets not known to anyone but one person who, now after all these years, tells his story of what happened… and why even death can be mindful and justified…

Life Coaching session at a café.

get ready 4 change with Lars – your Transition Coach

Remember that when we talk about goal setting, your attitudes, values and behavior it’s really about making sure that you stay in line with and are being true to your needs, opinions and perception.The distinction between selfishness and self fullness is that self fullness is being true to your needs, opinions and perception without worrying what others think and understanding an important difference that when we disappoint some people we are actually allowing them to find their own strenght.

For more about having the life you want, and getting the support you need, based on your needs, interest and values, go to www.CoachLars.com for a free consulation and to sign up for my 5-step transition signature program – “get ready 4 change”.

What does life transition mean and what would better managing them entail?

Let’s take a pivotal period in life – transitioning into retirement or semi-retirement. One of the things to look at, as in any transition, is the help needed to build resilience and skills in an individual facing this life changing transition.

Planning, preparing and preventing are three key words that first come to mind, and with a help of a coach you can enter into this new phase of your life confident and with more ease.

During any transition you hit barriers, road blocks, that have prevented you to succeed in the past. One is a behavioral barrier – the way we relate to others. Loneliness, for example, which so significantly impacts health later in life, is one important barrier you may face. Without the support of a partner, peers, family, friend, neighbors, an individual might find it considerably harder to face significant life changes.
On the other hand, reduced independence might prove detrimental because it can diminish the individual’s sense of control of his or her own destiny.

Attitudes also play a pivotal role in any transition. How we choose to enter into a transition. To capitalize on the lessons learnt from their own past experiences (or other’s) the individual is given a platform from where to better prepare for future difficult transitions. The challenge is that it may not be obvious how to do this and guidance from a coach could prove pivotal to the success of the change…to de-traumatize the transition.

Instead of fearing change, embrace it and instigate a change in perception from one of loss and hopelessness,  to one focused on assets that builds resilience.

Other barriers are related to family and social networks, and how to best “intervene” to put you back on track on your journey – your transition – into retirement.

These are a just a few of the challenges/barriers you’ll face in a transition but they give you an idea of what to expect if you choose not to plan, prepare and prevent. i.e. entering into the transition kind of blindfolded.

If you like to get help with a transition like this or any other transition you are facing in life, please get in touch with me to discuss how I can be of help – www.CoachLars.com

I feed off inspiration ALL the time. Everything I do is born out of inspiration. Is that bad?

It’s probably the reason why I am not always MOTIVATED… Inspiration is defined as the process of being mentally stimulated to do something, especially something creative. BUT it’s an EXTERNAL force…MOTIVATION is an INTERNAL drive…

SO I need to learn to ACT on everyday inspiration – MOTIVATION does that. It comes from within and propels me to ACT on the inspiration I can find anywhere – IF I choose and am willing to look for it…

I need to let the inspiration turn into motivation to act and allow it to be the accelerant to produce more of my “monster” ideas and plots when I write my stories; or when I help others excel and become more thoughtful, mindful and solution-focused; as a way of living, behaving, and working with others.

And YOU can do the same! Choose to let your inspiration feed your motivation to ACT!

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me , I’d still have to say it.”

George F. Burns

 

1. One thing at a time. Do it right now. Remove distractions.

2. Simplify your schedule. Learn to say no. Leave room for down time and fun.

3. Get moving. Walk, hike, play a sport, go for a run, do yoga.

4. Develop one healthy habit this month. One habit at a time – for example eat fruit and veggies for snack, drink water instead of soda.

5. Do something calming. Find what calms you down. Housework, yard work, meditation, nature walk, reading, taking a bath.

6. Simplify your finances. Automate savings and bill payments and debt payments. Find ways to have fun that don’t involve spending money.

7. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even it’s just for a few minutes. Laugh a lot and often. Smile.

8. Get creative. If you like to write, do so. If you prefer to paint or play music or sketch or make pottery or do interior design or build things…Just do it!

9. Declutter. Take 20-30 minutes to just to through a room, getting rid of stuff you don’t use or need anymore.

10. Be early. Schedule some buffer time to avoid being late – because being late can be very stressful…and if you get somewhere early, meditate!

 

Now your life will probably never be stress-free – I don’t think that’s even desirable, even if is possible, because stress is something that challenges us and helps us grow. At a reasonable level. But when stress gets too high, it causes us to be unhappy and unhealthy.

“It is indeed a radical act of love just to sit down and be quiet for a time by yourself…It is only love that can give us insight into what is real and what is important. And so a radical act of love makes sense, love for life and for the emergence of one’s truest self.” —– Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

To bare our heart (or soul) to someone, to reveal our innermost thoughts…to undress your soul. Check out my illustration – Feelings & Expressions©.

 

Expressions

Expression of Joy – photo by Lars

Begin & end each day with an Expression of Joy! Then you know you have done something that day to not only add value to your own well-being but in the process you have touched so many others – many whom you’ll never see again, some you’ll wake up next to in the morning.

The key to understand joy in the things you see or do is awareness. Awareness is knowing what is happening around you. Self-awareness is knowing what you are experiencing. When you truly accept, choose or take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions, your commitments to them rises and so does your “expression of joy”… Being aware of who you are is also about knowing your interests, attitudes and values – for more about that contact me for a free consultation!

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